Help! My Spouse Isn’t Listening!

We recently held an online couple’s meeting that focused on strategies to help couples develop a “lifelong listener” approach.

An abridged version of our notes and audio of our meeting are available below.

Main takeaways

  • Listening is: processing your spouse’s viewpoint, where the other person is coming from, and why he/she feels the way they do. It’s not necessarily agreeing but it IS the first step in reaching a compromise.
  • Theme Scripture: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” James 1:19
  • Strategies to talk so your spouse will understand:
    • De-emotionalize
    • How does he/she conceptualize life? (God speaking our language: “Fishers of men”)
    • Repeat it back. Does it make sense to him/her or just you?
  • How to listen when it matters most
  • Recognize it’s about more than you (it’s your marriage)
    • Set the stage for sharing
    • Step back emotionally
    • Compromise is part of life

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