Throughout history, women have really run the gamut in terms of their role in a man’s life. They’ve been called everything from “goddess” to “the bane of a man’s existence” (think Pandora’s box!)
But as we dig deeper into our study of gender roles, Lois and I want to show that men and women need each other. We believe that the Bible gives an accurate picture of why that’s the case. Let’s start with the guys and our next post will pinpoint on why women need men.
A man’s helpmate
God’s vision for marriage is that a woman would support and help her husband deal with whatever circumstances life throws his way (Genesis 2:18). Yeah, humans sinned but God’s plan has never changed.
Men don’t need women to rule them. They don’t need women to tempt them.
Instead, they need women to support them. To reassure their masculinity. To be the one with whom they can share their deepest insecurities. To be the mind that helps them solve and understand life’s problems.
If he’s sick, or otherwise unable to carry out his duties, she needs to be the one to help the family keep moving forward.
We can never overemphasize the importance of a woman’s role in a man’s life. But when a wife doesn’t fulfill this role, she is in danger of becoming more of a hindrance than a helper.
Needless to say, being a hindrance can poison any relationship.
A man’s inspiration
I sometimes jokingly tell Lois that I’m only “half-tamed” and that she brings out the best in me. The truth is men need women to inspire them to be the best that they can be.
Proverbs 18:22 shows us that a wife is a good thing for a man. Why is that? Because she is to be the gentleness that we men sometimes lack. The voice of kindness and wisdom (Proverbs 31:26) that sometimes eludes men.
But everything depends on if she is willing to be that part of his life. Like a ship’s anchor, a woman can either help a man hold firm against a raging tide. . . or she can be dead-weight, sucking him down into the depths of frustration and despair.
A man’s escape
If you’ve read our post on Why men need sex you’ll know that one of God’s purposes for marriage is to provide couples with an outlet for their sexual needs (1 Corinthians 7:2). Men also have a part to play in this (see our post on “Women and Sex“) but our focus in this article is why men need women.
While a woman may not want to think of herself as an “outlet,” by meeting her husband’s need, she can save her husband from sin, from giving into the temptations online and on the street, and a life of regret.
It may be tempting to believe that a wife isn’t obligated to meet her husband’s needs. We often hear things like “a man should be strong” and “he should have self-control.” But that is neither scriptural nor logical.
Moving beyond sex, when a woman understands that she is needed by her husband in so many ways, it should increase her feelings of self-worth.
Guys, for your part, be sure to verbalize to your spouse how much you need her—and not just for sex!
Ask her opinions and thank her for the times she gives good advice. If she encourages you to give up bad habits, listen to her. Make love to her in a way that makes her feel loved.
Your marriage will thank you.