Are we gender-compatible?

Many of the problems in marriage start with gender differences. Husbands and wives look at the same situation and come to two completely different perspectives.


I asked my wife what color shirt our eldest son is wearing in a picture. She replied “Cotton blue.

To me–it’s just blue. For that matter… everything’s blue. There’s no aquamarine, teal, or periwinkle. It’s all just BLUE. 🙂

This is a pretty simplified example but the same principle applies to the more serious issues in our life. Men and women literally think, perceive information, and express themselves in dramatically different ways. Our biological hard-wiring forces men and women to perceive things on different levels.

In marriage that can be frustrating at times, making us think we can’t understand our spouse’s logic. But really, these differences were given to COMPLEMENT each other.

Guys, her level of specificity—and her incessant need to keep things clean and organized—were given to help you keep on top of your game. She’s your helpmate, so she sees things you may miss. Admit it. Without her you’d be lost.

Ladies, remember he’s built for efficiency not luxury. He’s a logical, problem-chewing machine on two legs. So don’t get exasperated if his way of seeing things doesn’t mirror your own. Admit it. Without him, life would be pretty boring.

Just like interlocking pieces of a puzzle, both husband and wife have something that the other lacks. But both husband and wife need to be willing to grow and change–to think beyond the boundaries of their own gender in order to please their spouse.

As time goes along, if you’re committed to each other, you’ll find you understand each other more. You’ll also discover you’re willing to be patient with each other when you just can’t figure him/her out. After all, “love covers a multitude of offenses.” 🙂

Quick recap: God made men and women with distinct gender differences. These differences aren’t meant to divide couples but to help fill in the gaps of our own thinking while growing in understanding and patience.

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