Without realizing it, mental lists of complaints can start forming in our heads. We often look at the things that our spouse hasn’t done or isn’t doing and get frustrated. Having this mental list doesn’t make us feel positive towards our spouse or our marriage.
In fact, if these thoughts continue without being expressed (at the right time and in the right way, of course) it can be harmful to a marriage.
If it seems that your spouse isn’t meeting your needs you need to:
Start thinking positively: Make a physical list about positive things that your spouse does for you. Compliment your spouse daily about one of those things on that list. Constantly saying positive things now will make it easier for your spouse to receive constructive criticism later on.
Do something your spouse loves: Focus on a specific need your spouse has. Do something that your spouse knows is outside of your comfort zone.
Change your attitude: Nurturing a positive marriage requires a positive attitude, positive actions, and positive words.
Being positive towards your spouse, automatically makes you feel more satisfied about your relationship. Changing a selfish outlook to an unselfish one makes each spouse think about the other’s needs.