After the honeymoon phase of a marriage is over most women think that the romance and the excitement that was once shared usually dies. This is only true if both husband and wife allow it to happen. While those days of the honeymoon cannot return, husbands and wives need to move on to something that lasts longer- a romantic and physical relationship.
A long lasting, romantic and physical relationship between a husband and wife happens when both are having their needs met. If both husband and wife can know what each other needs and seek to fulfill them, then their marriage will become far richer and even more enjoyable.
When a husband or wife is only thinking about their own needs they are being selfish. As Christians we need to be self less and focus on the needs of our spouses.
What are a wife’s needs? A wife’s needs are emotional intimacy and communication. She needs her husband to be romantic, to tell her how beautiful she is, show open affection, plan secretive getaways and candlelit dinners.
What are a husband’s needs? A husband’s needs are physical/sexual.
Almost all women will say that their husband could be more romantic and almost all husbands will say that their wife could be more sexual. If a wife is focusing on not having her needs met she cannot focus on fulfilling the needs of her husband. If a husband is focusing on not having his needs met how can he focus on the needs of his wife?
A wife should not show disdain or put down her husband’s physical/sexual need. Instead, out of love, value it so that her husband can reflect that same attitude towards her need for romance and communication.
If you need romance don’t bottle up that energy on the inside. Instead pour it out into your marriage. SHOW your husband what you need. Let the romance you show him be the model of what you’d like shown to you. Plan a romantic getaway, write him some love notes, make candlelit dinners just for him. Let it be an ongoing building up of romance and excitement. He’ll be wondering what you’re going to do next and will use your acts as a model for when he tries something romantic next time.
Fearless Marriage 
Well said! I think a lot of strife happens when we have “expectations” thinking our spouse should know what we want. I learned early on to tell my husband what I wanted. It has been a blessed 16 years and I wouldn’t have it any other way. š Blessings.
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I agree with you. Our expectations should be voiced instead of wishing silently.
That’s wonderful!
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If I may, as a man and a husband of many years, I would add that a man also has emotional needs in addition to his physical/sexual needs. The shared sexual intimacy with his wife is also emotionally gratifying for the husband.
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Love your advice on “need more romance”, if you don’t mind I’m going to borrow an excerpt from it because I like the way you put how to help your husband with what you want by example
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Sure! Thank you!
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