Since no one is just born being a good communicator, how do husbands and wives become good at communicating with each other?
In the previous article we discovered the 5 ways that couples communicate with each other and took a look at what kind of communication skills make a happy marriage. In this article we’ll take a look at some ideas that work to keep the communication positive between wives and husbands.
Communication between spouses works like a river. When feelings, ideas, and thoughts flow from one person to the other, that makes a positive relationship. When that river cannot flow freely pressure builds up on both ends until that problem (like a dam) is removed.
What should communication look like in a happy relationship?
1. Husbands and wives should feel free (and safe) to talk about their private thoughts and should be open to talking about anything (even if it is to express dislike of something the other person is doing-in a nice way, of course).
2. Both should comfortably be able to talk about concerns, feelings, and needs in difficult situations without receiving hurtful comments from their spouse.
3. Spouses should be sure to pay attention when the other is speaking and try to understand with a sympathetic ear instead of criticizing or blaming, even if they see things in a different perspective. Listening to your spouse while looking at your phone/tablet/laptop doesn’t count. Make sure your spouse has your undivided attention.
Keep the communication flowing freely bewteen you and your husband. Don’t let your conversations come out in “drops” by just talking about who will pick up the kids or what you’ll be doing that day. Talk about what is really important to both of you. Lack of communication will dry up your “river”.
Use and choose your words wisely. A wife should never yell at her husband. Yelling produces strong, negative feelings and also shows disrespect. Whatever you say while yelling won’t be understood by your spouse because he will be on the defensive and show frustration instead of understanding the point you are trying to make.
Your emotions speak louder than your words. Keep them in check. The whole point of communicating is to be understood. Be calm and express to your spouse what you would like him to understand. Give him a chance to communicate his feelings back to you as well. It will take BOTH of you to use your communicative skills to keep a positive, happy relationship.
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