Spending quality time with your husband will strengthen your relationship. Think about it: How did you get to know your husband before you both got married? How did he get to know you? You spent time together! You went on multiple dates and spent hours on the phone. You MADE the time to get to know each other . Even though you are married now may not mean that you know all about your spouse. It is still very important to set aside time for one another.
The thing is, we are constantly changing. As we get older our tastes change, the things we used to like may now seem childish, or we may want to explore things that we’ve never done before.
How do you find out if your husband has changed in some way, shape, or form? Ask! At a dinner date or when you are in your “dedicated space” (see pt.1 of this article) may be the perfect time to find out. Show genuine interest in learning more about your husband. Keep the conversation flowing and he might just ask you something in return. It is best to make a conscious effort to not talk about the kids. Your alone time and conversations should revolve just around the two of you.
Just because you don’t talk about your kids doesn’t mean that you don’t love them. In our culture, parents feel that they need to spend all of their free time with their children. Perhaps, that is why many marriages lack the fire that they once started out with: Husbands and wives refocus all of their attention from each other to their children and hardly talk about anything else.
Husbands and wives NEED to spend time romantic together for both themselves and FOR their children. Not only will it make you better parents (you”ll feel less stressed when you’re relaxed and it will put a positive impact on your parenting skills) but will make impressions on your children for their future relationships with their spouse. (God willing)
Romance is a big part of your marriage! It is not just the icing on the cake.
You may be thinking:
1.It’s hard to get away for a couple of hours.
2. Who is going to watch the kids?
3. We don’t have time for dates.
4. I don’t have much money to spare for a date.
Remember, it is not the QUANTITY of time you spend with your spouse but the QUALITY that matters. You may go on a date once every 3 or every 5 months (hopefully more often than that!), but make it count. It doesn’t have to be a glamorous or an expensive date for you both to remember it or to have a good time. Sometimes just sitting and talking on a park bench or a walk around the block (which is free, by the way) could be the most remembered date of all! You never know what could happen on your dates.
How do you fit romantic time into your lives when you have kids? Here are some ideas:
1. Earlier bedtime: On a night you both choose, put the kids to bed an hour earlier. This will give you 60 minutes to talk and catch up on things that have happened during the week, play a fun board game together, or even pray together (prayer will draw you closer together as you both speak to your Heavenly Father).
2. Take turns: Find a couple near you that you trust with your kids, and get a rotation system set up. Take turns watching each others’ kids when date night arrives. When your turn for date night arrives, you will drop off your kids at their house and watch theirs when it not your date night. Remember that you are not a terrible parent for wanting to have a quiet evening with your spouse!
3. Kids programs: Use programs for kids to your advantage! Your local bookstore or library should have some programs that will “babysit” your kids for a couple minutes. If there is a cafe in store, you and your husband can enjoy a cup of coffee/hot chocolate together until the program ends to recollect your children.
4. Mini dates: Don’t limit date nights to once a week! Give your kids some activities to do (coloring, some time on a tablet, playing a board game etc.) while you and your husband have dinner together.
Remember to be playful and excited around your husband. Give each other pet names (this can be fun), laugh, and smile with him. Call him for purposes other than finding out if he can pick up the kids from school or to do you a favor. Show your husband that you really care about him and love him for who he is. Don’t expect him to always be the romantic one, be romantic to him too!